and now stoped dead for 2 weeks - wouldn't say I've done it as once a smoker always a smoker

Im 30, married with 1 child. Started smoking weed and fags at highschool, but turnedd full time weed head (all day every day) at unniversity. Never really messed up my life although did slow me down a little. I am however relatively fit and healthy (i run everyday) but still kept smoking.

What brought it all home to me was when I was ill over christmas with the flu. after the flu went I had a bad chest and cough that just wouldn't go away. Went to the doctor and described my symptoms - he read off my recvrds that I have never smoked (how many of us tell the doctor the whole truth?). At this point I confessed to smoking weed on a regular basis, rolled in joints with tabacco. From being a nice discussion about how generally healthy I was and not to worry the mood suddenly changed.

He suggested the symptoms I was descibing (ache in my chest, sore throat and cough that wont go away) could be nothing.....but could also be something more 'sinister'. He referred me for a chest and throat xray to check for CANCER.

I told him I cant have cancer as I have a 3 year old boy that needs me - he looked me straight in the eye and asked me what the hell am i doing smoking weed everyday then. I always thught I was fine as I have a good job, go running, look after my child and family, live in a nice house etc.etc. - I just like relaxing with a spliff or two each night after a hard days work - nothing wrong with that is there.

I had never intended to smoke forever - it was always a college thing and I would quit when I grew up. 25 came and went, kid was born, quit for a week or two but was soon back on it. 30 came and went.

It wasn't untl I was stood in the doctors surgery discussing the possibility that I may have lung cancer that forced me to re-evaluate what the hell I was doing with my life.

I have now quit for 2 weeks - it isnt long and I have gone longer before but what has really made this time different is that I know I will not smoke again - I have it right in my head now.

Primarily Im doing it for my boy - I didnt have cancer, my cough has gone and I feel much better. But if I carried on as I was it my be 5 years, 10 years or never but at some point in my future I could be sitting in that doctors surgery again, havcing the same discussion . and this time i could have cancer. Could still get it anyway - but I owe to myself, my wife, my child, my parents and everyone that knows me to do everything I can to stack the odds in my favour. I have had many opporunities to smoke (still big bag of weed in the kitchen drawer), but I have no interest in it. I stll rolll the occasional joint for my missus - and talk to her while she smokes in the garden - but I will never be putting a joint or fag in my mouth again.

Just wanted to share this with the world - everyone find their own way of quitting - i dont know what is different this time but somethinng is - I just feel as if Ive got my head right and I want to be smoke free for the rest of my life.

I think the strongest motivator for me was the fact that I was starting toi to think about having to explain to my parents (my sons grandparents) that I was going to die before them, and they would have to raise my child in my absence. Might sound overdramatic from one little health scare - but if it works to make me stop then is that a bad thing.

even If I didnt get cancer until I was 50 or 60 or 70 - I want to see my childs children, just as my parents play with my son every day. you get one life and you get out of it only what you yourself are prepared to put into it. Enjoyable as smoking is, and I never stopped enjoying it (used to love nothing more than having a joint with the missus while settling down to a takeaway and DVD after putting the lad to bed) - i do miss it, but rationalise that the years of extra life and experience willl be worth it. I get more pleasure out of each and every day things now - even birdsong this morning while I was out for a run, running used be a 'chore'i would do every day - now I love running as my lungs feel strong and clean - my times are improving and I feel great.

rambling I know.....find something to motivate you, get your head straight - its not small steps in my opinion, you have to convince yourself that yu will be smoke free and you willl never ever smoke again.

Thanks for reading